Back to Bertram's Lair Front Page

TAYLOR TOWN

     Ok bucko, you are by the road with the truck circling around. Don't get run over! Now clear out all around the road and head back towards where you began. The dirt road that beging nearest to where you began heads away from the paved road and then turns to the left. The secret are you saw in the demo is right near the corner. Keep on going until you reach the "GENERAL STORE". Go up to the front door & mash down on yer spacebar to open it.
      From the store, there's two ways you can go. Head to the path behind the store. It was on yer left when you first arrived outside the store. Head on down the path and take the right fork, Keep poking around until you find the big ol hay barn with the sylos on the side. On one of these sylos there's a bull's eye. Grab the dynamite layin around on the ground. Press the #5 key to take a dynamite in your hands, press Ctrl to light it up, and press Ctrl again to throw it. Be quick and don't blow yerself to bits. There should be a heck of an explosion & a big ol' hole where the bull's eye used to be. Go through there into the barn. Go up to the 2nd floor, the first key is on one of the straw bales. You'll have to do a running jump (press capslock) from one of the other bales. If you still can't make it across, use moonshine if you have it (press M). You exit the barn by jumping from the upper floor. Try to jump as close to the side of the building as you can, cause there's a delicious goo-goo cluster on the top of one of the two barn doors you couldn't open.
     Now with that key you will be able to open the back door inside the general store. Inside that room you'll find the second key. Push the bookcase to the right for a secret area.
     Now wander around till you find the delapidated redneck house with the well outside. The key you found will open the basement door. In the cellar you'll find the third key. This opens opens up the boathouse. Open the door with the third key. Bubba is in one of the rooms over the boat stalls. Whack him upside the head with yer crowbar to end the level (press number key "1").

The Secrets: Here's all the secrets in E1L1: one is revealed in the demo (from where you are at the very beginning of the game back up all the way to the hedge - secret is in the hedge just few feet from the corner). Second is in the hedge next to the house with cellar (use your map to find exactly where-press Tab for map). Third is inside house with cellar, in the fireplace. To get to Stanky's, start from where the first secret was, before you get to the General Store make a right, and then a left at the fork in the road. Jump on the dumpster, then onto the lid, and then on top of the building. Fifth in cellar. As you go in, go all the way to the back, turn left. Facing that wall, press the space bar and a secret door should open. Sixth in the store. After you get the first key, go to store, open the back room, and then push the shelf for final secret.

LumberLand

     At the start of this level you're in the water. Head straight till you come to the brick building with the logs floating and the big ol pipe out front. Climb onto dry land and activate the switch on the wall by the end of the pipe by mashing yer spacebar(all the red light switches in this game should turn to green when hit). Walk straight out to the end of the pipe and jump back into the water. The switch opened a gate at the bottom of the pipe. Use yer Z key to swim underwater, and thru the gate.
     Go up in that pipe, find the switch at the end of one of the pipe corriders and activate it. Wander around the pipes till you find the ladder & climb it.
      Now yer at the lumber company's loading dock area. Find yer way into the building. Upstairs in the first room on the right there'll be a desk. Crouch and hit the red button to reveal a secret behind a fridge in an adjacent room. Keep going down that hall, make a right and down to the basement tunnels. You have to find a place close to the iron gate with a skinny guy in it and a switch. The switch will open the iron gate where you'll find the first key. There's a place in the tunnels with four buttons. If you hit the first left one and the second right one, you will unlock the second secret.
     Now you can get out of the tunnels, and open the door in the last room by that first hallway. You can see a hole in the wall up by the boxes. There's some goodies up there. Outside the saw room, you can see a red switch. When you push it, the saw in the other room stops for a little while, so if you run and squeeze through there, you can make it to the other side. Don't waste time or the saw will re-start and waste you.
     Now find the room with the forklift. Way in the back you'll find some stacked wood that looks like steps, jump up on those, do a running jump over the gap, shoot the vent, and you'll come out in the office with the other two keys.
     Now you'll have to come out of the room with forklift, go to the room adjacent to it, hit the switch to open that garage-style metal door. Billy Rays will be shooting at you from the other side of the fence.
     Jump down to the tracks and activate the switch on the wall. Head towards the tunnel and turn left when you get to it, heading down till you come to the stairs on yer right. Go up the stairs. Find the crack in the wall in the room with the lamb and blow it up with dynamite. Be careful not to blow yerself up along with it.
     Jump through the hole you made in the wall. Now you'll have to push the box against the wall so that you can jump across the gap to that high place with the wine bottle and the switch. That switch will open another door to some stairs, Waste the remainder of the aliens and jump out the window where ya see Bubba. Whack him upside the head again fer putting you through all that trouble to save his sorry ass.

JUNKYARD

     Wander around till you get to some huge gates you can't yet open. Grab the stuff from the shack on yer right and head around to the left side of the gates to the doghouse. Go inside the dog house, mash yer space bar and you'lls be taken down to the sewers where you'll find the first key, which will open the big gates to the junkyard. Head back to the lift and mash yer spacebar again to go back up.
     Now find the car compactor on the other side of the junkyard from the entrance. Shoot the button twice to get into the car crusher to get the key, then shoot it again through the bars and run like hell to get back out. It would be a real good idea to save your game before trying this. Try running in and out while crouching (Z key pressed).
      With the second key you can open the roll-up gate at the end of the tunnel. The third key is all the way up in the crane. You'll have to jump from the boxes onto the side of the crane and climb up the ladder into the crane. You may need yer moonshine to sucessfully make the jumps.
     The third key opens the roll-up gate at one corner at the yard with the crane. Whack Bubba upside the head again.

     The Eleven Secrets: There are eleven secrets on this level. Many of them are very easy to find. Use your show-map a lot in the beginning to find the hideouts in the hedge. Usually there will be Billy Rays shooting at you from there. Make sure you swim up that river for some goodies up there. At the entrance to the junkyard there's one you have to duck for. By the red car there's three secrets. For two of them you have to squeeze in between those car walls: one you will have to go down for, the other you follow the stone wall. The third one you will find up high from the red car. At the truck with the headlights on, follow the light from the headlights, crouch, and voila... Near the crusher with the key, turn around and walk towards the car piles and then turn into a small niche, crouch, then jump up and crouch again. This will lead you to a very high area and some ammo on a narrow walkway to your left. When your in the large room with the crane, at the entrance, to the right, go up and there's a secret door in the brick wall, it looks different then the rest of the walls. From that secret, jump out onto the cars, then go forward a bit, left, turn around, and there's a gap between the smashed cars, go into that and jump across to the fence, turn left and theres another brick door.

DRIVE-IN

     You're gonna pass by the bowling building, but can't open it cause you need the first key. However, behind it is the first time y'all are gonna get the huntin' rifle, which is a gooder! Grab it and head on over to the trailor park. The first key is inone of them trailers. Watch out for them tornadoes, they do like trailor parks don't they. Heh-he-he
      Now head back on over to the Bowling alley. While yer there, you can pick up a bowling ball and actually bowl a game or two. Nifty effect, huh. The second key is on a table in the bowling building, close to the entrance.
     The second key gets you into the drive in. To get the third key, go behind the screen, and push the box against the dumpster. Now do a running jump to the ledge of the wooden wall. You may need the moonshine, which you can find plenty of in the trailers and the bowling building. Walk to the closer edge now, and you should see a hole, jump in and grab the 3rd key.
     Head on back to the projector building. You go through the consession stand and up to the 2nd floor to the projector room. Once you've finished off all the aliens up there head back to the window that was on yer left when you got to the top of the stairs. (And were facing the projector) Climb out the window, there's a ledge below it, and work your way to the rear of the building where you can climb onto the roof and whack ol Bubba again...

     The only secret is on top of a shed by the two tornadoes, behind the trailers. You'll have to let the tornado pick you up and put you on top of it.

Dairy Air Farms

     Watch yer ass because this level opens up with them aliens comin at ya from everywhere. Grab yer hunting rifle and take out the dawg first. Head on over to the farm house, find yer way inside and waste everyone. Go into the barn, climb the ladder, walk along the ledge till you can cross to the other side by walking on the wire with the lamp hanging from it. Grab the crossbow & ammo from atop the hay bales.
     Follow the path that starts in the back yard. You'll come to a building with a big rig trailor outside. In the back of that building, there's a switch you have to turn on to open the entrance to the building. The first key is inside, next to the furnace.
     Now you need to go back all the way to the beginning. On yer way stop at the bee yard and find the well in the corner. Jump in & swim down and go through the tunnels.
      When you're back to where you came into the farm house at the beginning and head on down the path you didn't use before. The second key is in the building with a big cow's head on it. Jump up on the fence where there's a hay bale under a window.. Head through the window to get the 2nd key on the wall between the two stalls.
     Now you need to get to the building with two silos. There will be a long barn, and then all the way in the back a dirt road which takes you to the silos. Go inside, open the chainlink gate and hit the switch. This opens up one of the silos outside, so that you can go inside and get the third key.
      Now remember where you went past a big pipe behind a chain link fence you couldn't get at? That last key opens the chain fence. Jump down into the pipe to enter the next level, the dreaded sewers.

     The other Secrets: There's a long barn with no second story right by the end of the level, the barn you pass by to get to the silos. By the haybales, if you look up, you'll see some goodies. Give up trying to get them by jumping off the window. What you have to do is shoot one of the pigs so that he starts chasing you, then use the pig to jump on the haybales. From one of the secret areas you'll be able to jump to the other secret. There's a total of three secrets there, so make sure you don't kill those pigs by accident! Next to the silos, you'll see a brown pipe running up the side of the wall. Climb it (keep 'A' pressed when right next to it). From the top of the building go down a ledge and walk into the window for another secret.

SEWERS

     No Keys, look for switches & buttons! This levelsucks bilgewater. When you start, it says LEVEL 01. Go the left, where it also says LEVEL 01, jump down there. Now go down into the water and hit all four buttons. You should hear something opening when you hit the last button. Go back up and jump into the middle. Come out the other end, climb the ladder. Now look back and shoot that button. Jump back into the water and you should see a iron gate coming down. Get the goodies (they were right underneath you when you were at the top of the ladder). I'd strongly recommend using yer showmap, hit yer tab key just one time. DO NOT TYPE RDSHOWMAP !!! This way the the map draws itself as you go places. You can tell where you've already been and the new areas will appear as you get to them.
     Go to where you find a big pool with four seperate areas. Swim down underwater & activate the four buttons down there in order. A1 first, A4 last. Now you'll be able to get into the center area. Swim to the surface, hop into the pipe and swim down. Go into the corrider at the bottom, get outa the water when you can & climb the ladder.If you turn around on the other side there's a switch. Turn it on, and a gate should open right there.
     Climb the chain (you might need to do running jumps from the edge), go up. At one point your way will be blocked by a box, which you can push out of the way. You'll find some secrets around there. You need to go back though. If you happen to fall down to level 1, it's no problem. You'll have to swim down again, go to level 4, and then same way to level 2. Now climb the ladder to the other side (the side with switch), go through the opening opposite the way you came into the room, so that you end up in the room with the map. These really are maps of the level, hint hint - wink wink.
      Now make your way into the room with a very low water level. Jump into the water, turn that switch way at the bottom. This will raise those iron bars as well as raise the water level. Now you can go into the middle. Look closely through the cracks for a button* up high on a beam. Shoot that button. This will open all the four doors around that circular walkway to reveal a button each. Now go push only the C and D buttons. You can barely see "Emergency Valve D." So you shoot the button in that unit and the one in the C unit. Don't even think of activatinf the buttons labeles A & B. The C & D buttons open the door to the end of the level. The rest you'll figger out fer yerself.

     *For those of you that can't find the grey button high up on the beam: You went down a corridor with pipes along one wall and brown panels on the other wall. The first panel can be pushed to reveal a secret area. Grab the goodies and find the area with the map on the wall. This is the flood control zone. you'll find the over flow control switch on the wall, turn it to lower the water. Kill the turd minions and swim underwater. Find the underwater corridor and activate the switch. Swim to the center of the pool. Poke yer head thru the crack and shoot the gray button over the door. Here's a few pictures that should help Dat Gum No'Count Gray Button

THE SMELTING PLANT

     This level is pretty cool. You start in the sewer. Climb the ladder up to the furnace room. Yeah, I know, you hadda go through a door. I'm assuming you know that stuff fer yerself by now. Go out the double gates, make a left and left again through the opening in the wall. Pass by the dumpster to get close to a door. Go in, get out of the first room, make a right so you soon come up to the elevator. Get in it, press the Space bar to go down. Now you are in a room with lots of boxes. The box at very top is cracked. Blow it up with yer dynomite. Go through the hole you blowed in the wall. The next room has a door. Open the door and blast the box there with more dynomite. Go in now to get the first key.
     Ride the elevator back up and go down that long hallway. The room at the end on the right has a switch in it inside a cabinet's double doors. Hit it & go out the door at the end of the hallway into the room with the furnace. Go back down where ya climbed the ladder when ya first came up into the furnace room. That switch opened the door you couldn't get through before and now you can hit the switch inside that room. This second switch opens up a gate in the pool outside.
      Get into the pool and swim till you come out the other side and grab yer second key in the corner. Opposite where you got into the pool there's a door way in the back that you couldn't open before. Now go through there. Close to here is the first secret (see below). Go past the wall with the lit Hickston sign so that you end up all the way in back. Go up that way. Soon you are in a room where you can see the lit Hickston sign outside the winder. (That's redneck fer window hoss) (secret #2). Keep going. You go up a ladder at one point (secret #3). Pass by a place with lots boxes all over the place (secrets #4 and #5). You go down a little and come out through a door into the furnace room on the second floor, so to speak. Turn left, jump across the gap and get the third key.
     Go back outside again, all the way to back to the lit Hickston sign. Right nearby you go down some stairs. There's a door that you open with the third key. Keep going until you get to a room with three pipes. Press both buttons. Mash yer spacebar to open up the left pipe and jump on into the poo. You will see some bars blocking your way. Back up just a little bit, then swim up. Hit the switch up there, go back to the room with the 3 pipes. Now press the buttons again, so that they look the way they were before. Go into the right pipe, same thing again... press the switch you find here. Go back out again. You opened up the gate down the stairs from the room with the 3 pipes. Go into the room with the vats. Jump to the other side using the edge of the vats and MOONSHINE if you have it, hit the switch, then jump into the middle vat. Swim downand go through the opening the last switch opened, go all the way up in the vertical pipe and hit that switch, then go all the way down, keep going until you come out again (HINT: use your map - press TAB - to know which the way the pipes branch out). Go down into the pipe and the final battle with Assface...

The Five Secrets: You'll have to refer to the section above to know the approximate whereabouts of each secret. Go straight and climb the chain (keep "A" pressed while standing next to it) in the corner for the first secret. For the second secret jump out the window onto the building with lit Hickston sign. The third secret is revealed by blowing up the box. In the area with boxes all over the place you'll see one box high up with a hole in it. You'll have to push the box to the left in front of it, then jump from the boxes behind onto the box you moved, and then into the hole. Gotta use MOONSHINE here (press "M" if you got it or type in "MOONSHINE" any time while playing). Whoopie, you got yourself the dyno'mite thrower now! For fifth and final secret you'll have to push a box next to a wall close to the same place. Jump in the pipe, then press "Z" to keep going down. You can climb back up the ladder.

PART II

DOWNTOWN

     Yer gonna start out at the gas station. Gas stations blow up real gud, heh-he-he. Grab yer ripsaw when it calms down a bit. Go back to the road & go left and keep on a going till ya get to the bliiboard, grab the goodies behind it & head over to the library. Yer gonna need to go to the 2nd floor and makea running jump to the shelves by the windows. (Yer probably gonne need yer moonshine)
     Break the window, jump across to those stairs, get on the roof. Across in other building you should see a long hall. Yer gonna have to make an olympic style running jump to get through the winder. This seedy hotel ain't no Holiday Inn. Go down to the first floor. One of those rooms has the first key. Now go back out the way you came in.
     The second key is in the building next to Stanley's Bar and Grill (it's the brown door to the right of the bar). In Stanky's Bar and Grill jump into the corner opposite the jukebox for one of yer secret areas, and it's got a good ol hunting rifle.For the third key you need to climb the long flight of stairs next to the library.
     Now you need to go through the general store to the back yard. See that box in the corner? Shoot one of pigs so that he comes after you and use him to climb onto the box. Pigs make fer fine step stools.Now climb up to the roof Shoot the vent, go in, shoot the other grill. You should be in the sheriff's office now. Behind his desk there's a switch you have to turn on. That opens all the cells in the jail. Now go into the last cell. See that crack in the wall? Blow it up with dynamite. There's another switch on the desk in the bank that opens the vault. Bubba is in the vault
     We're you dunb enough to get yerself stuck in the firehouse? Yer webmaster was. You get into the firehouse from the roof that you jump onto from the library window. To get out of there you need to jump on top of the firetruck, then look up towards the windows. You should see some ropes hanging down from the ceiling. Use those to get out. If you hit the switch inside it won't let you out, but it will open just enough fer more damn aliens to come in after you. Heh-he-he

     Final secret. At the place where you get the third key, there's some windows. Position yourself by the window to the right. Jump to the corner with the brown drainpipe, then climb it to the roof. Get the goodies there, then carefully walk the very thin ledge to the other side. There's some googoo clusters here.

THE NUT HOUSE

     You enter this loony bin without any weapons! Hang onto yer ass. Shoot that vent to get out of the room you start in, go the upstairs to get some goodies, then back down so you end up in a little room with a skinny old coot. The first key is in one of the top cabinets. You can push the box to use cause yer gonna have to jump and press the space bar while yer in mid air to open the cabinet. Ain't that a bitch.
     Next open the door, go up the stairs, then go down so you end up in the hall. Now go all the way to the other end of the hall, make a right down the stairs. When down there you should see a sunny garden out those doors. Before you get out, make a right and another right. Somewhere at end of those halls you'll find a switch. This switch opens up the doors in the big hall right across from where you first came into it. Go through those doors, pass by the big statue, go into the other building, up the stairs. In one the rooms close to here you'll find that if you jump on the desk and kind'a move around you'll hear first and then see the bookcase moving back. When it does that, run to get in there and get the second key.
     Go back to the big hall again. Going straight ahead from the point in this picture turn at the first right. There's a control room there. Squeeze through the little hole, and with the second key you can open the gates at the other end of the little hall. You see those two blue swithboards at opposite ends of the hall? Each time you press the space bar one of the doors on a certain side of the hall will open.
     Go down to the morgue now. In the room with many beds, you'll see one that sticks out a bit. Crouch next to it, but a little bit to the side (meaning sitting almost facing the corner of the bed), and press the space bar. It will come out full length. You may have to keep trying for some time to get it to open. Now from the open bed you have to jump towards the gate a little to the right. Again one of those extremely tough jumps to make. Once you do though, you'll pick up the third key. Now you can open the heavy iron gate right outside the morgue. Give ol Bubba another gud whack upside the head.

     The Four Secrets: Go all the way down the big hall, make a left. You'll see the doors to a huge room with many beds. If you stand close to one of the beds and press the space bar, the bed will slide out of the way... Next to the control room with the blue switches there's a vent that you can shoot open. By the big white statue, go into the blue hall. Close to the gate you'll see a crack in a wall at about middle height. Blow it up with dynamite. Walk carefully to the edge of the precipice and look down. You should see some pork rinds down there. Drop down and climb back up on the ladder. The last secret is the stuff right by the statue. To get there you'll have to jump from the second floor onto the base of the statue.

J. CLUCKS

     First, jump on top of the semi and then onto the porch to get some googoo clusters and other goodies. You'll see written on the wall a message to shut down the processing line if you experience slow frame rates. Do so if the dang thing runs really crappy, freezes up or just don't work gud, but you're gonna miss all the neat special effects in this level. Chickens gettin crushed into mash, gettin their heads lopped off, etc...
     Now go into the building. Once ya go past the reception area go in the stockroom, push the shelf on yer right and open the levels only secret area. Go all the way to the end of the first hall, climb up those stairs. The office up there has a button behind the desk that opens up the wall safe. The first key is in there.
     Now go into that hall again and take the first right as you come down the stairs. You'll find a door what says "Employees Only". Now you isn't really an employee, but if yer gonna save yer dumb-ass friend Bubba yer gonna have to sneak around some anyhow. Clear out the showers and locker area and head into the processing area.Go on down the processing line for a spell till ya get to the chicken decapitation machine. Climb into it from the side. Yep, you heard me right. Just jump on in and swim down underwater. If ya went the wrong way it came to a dead end, go the other way. If ya went the right way you surfaced into a room. Flip the switch in the room, go down the hall, flip the next switch and make yer exit.
     Go back and find a ladder you saw earlier but were blocked after ya climbed it. Climb the ladder. Make a right at the open area you'll come to, and then go down the hall with the furnace burning alongside it. There are a couple of rooms will have lots of boxes in them. In one of them you'll find the second key on a table near a door. Now you can open a door close to the place where you jumped down after climbing the ladder.
     Now things get a little hairy so yer gonna want to be savin' yer game. Go find the compactor. Enter it, yes go in and turn toward yer left, work yer way through as best you can without getting killed. Save yer game often, heh-he-he. The third key is on the floor at the end. Grab it and hit the switch there too.
     Go back to where you found the second key. There's a door with a switch you couldn't go through before. Head on through, poke around till you find Bubba and give him another whack upside the head to end the level

THE RUINS

     Close to where you start off, you'll see an entrance blocked by a rock lodged into it. Blow it up with dyno'mite. Head on through and on down to the underground riverr. Make a right so that soon you come up to the waterfall with the chain next to it. Hop on down. Keep going to the end of the lake. Enter through the gate on the right. In this room you'll find the first key on a desk.
     Now head back to the waterfall. Climb the chain just like you would a ladder. Now comes the tough part of getting off the chain without falling down again. It'll take a few tries. Try to climb the chain while being as far to the right as possible. When yer back where you blowed things up, leave the tunnel and go towards yer left, down the incline and then turn right. Go a bit forward and look to the left at the river. The next key's down there.
     Jump in and swim underwater, first heading right, then turn left. Yer gonna find an opening on yer left, swim out of the water and head to yer right. Go through the door to the outside world, and take a right, and another right as you go up the steps.
     Enter the ruins.Now find the place with a bunch of wooden beams coming out of the walls. Go up the stairs, and onto the beams. Jump from one beam to the next until you get to a ledge and a hallway. Go to the end of the hall and jump from one beam to the next again. Yer gonna find an opening on yer left, and after going through it go through the hole in the floor. Go on through the door & up the stairs, You'll find the second key in a real dark room by a hole in the floor.
     The second key opens up the white door close to the stairs. In this room you'll find the third key. Now go back and go out the gate. Hit the switch by the gate in the yard. You'll see at the end of the hall some metal walls. Press against the metal wall as if you wanted to keep going straight and you should be magically transported to the other side. Climb up onto the roof and whack ol Bubba upside the head again. He don't learn, does he...

     *Speshul Note: There's a bug in this level in a lot of copies of the game. If after getting all three keys you cannot get through the last locked door, forst try typing RDKEYS. If that don't work type RDCLIP and walk right through. Type it again or yer gonna walk right off the map.

The Three Secrets: One secret is on top of the stove. You get to it by jumping out the window after you jumped across all those beams. Then go down into the hole in the stove. In one place among those tunnels you'll find a long flight of stairs. Go up and you'll see a pickup truck. Press the Space bar to open the garage door and get ready for major carnage. As you come out into the yard, on the left, you'll see a ladder. Climb it, then go all the way around the yard on the ledge, and voila, the second secret. The third secret is in the room with the third key. As you walk into that room, turn left right away, face the bookcase and press the space bar...

The Mortuary

     Go through the wrought iron gates and around the house to yer left. The first key is on the grass somewhere. This gets real exciting real quick.
      Go inside the house, make a right, go up the stairs. Inside the room up there you'll find the second key. Now go back down, go to the right from the entrance, down the stairs until you get to the red-walled room with the picture of the old coot on the wall. Walk right through it.
      At the end of the hallway, mash down on yer spacebar to open the gate. When you pass by the bottle behind the bars make a right immediately, down the inclined hallway. At the end of that hallway you'll find a really big room where most of the floor has fallen away. Don't you fall in too. You need to get to the area on the side. Jump from the top of the floorlamp right next to the entrance and do a running jump towards the aisle. At the end of one of aisles you'll find a switch. Hit it, then go to the end of the other aisle and get the third key.
     Now go back to the red room, open the yellow double doors and turn the switch by the creamator. There's a googoo cluster in the furnace. That last switch by the furnace opened the bars across from the pool. Go inside there and hit the switch. Go back to where there's the bottle behind the bars and look all the way across to the other end of the hall. The brown doors that used to be there opened up. Go down that way. Next to the tombhouse you come out of there's another tombhouse with an open casket. Drop down in there to end the level.

The Two Secrets: A few hints first. Make sure you get the goodies by the entrance to the mansion. Right before you go in look between the doors and the bars. As you walk around the marble halls you'll find many of them hidden in corners. The ones you miss going one way you'll be able to see much easier coming back the other way. You probably know what the secrets are but haven't been able to get to them. Remember the pool? To get inside there face the pool. Go to the left, turn the corner, and stop by the second light fixture. Press the space bar while standing right up against the wall under the lights, swim down into the pool... The other one is the bottle and some other stuff behind the bars. Turn right from there as if you going down the descending hallway, jump up on the ledge right at the corner, press the space bar...

URANIUM MINES

*Yer Webmaster, T.S. Bolton's all-time favorite level

THE MANSION

     Start off by going around the building and wasting everything. Get in the mansion from the porch in front by jumpng first to the ledge, then over the little fence. So you should be in a big ol' room now. Go up the stairs. Go thru the 1st door, down the hallway. Take a right, then a left, then another right. Go down the smaller stairs to the blue room. Scramble on top of the bookcase and push the box to get to a secret area hidden behind a breakable vent. Grab yer loot and head on down the red steps till yer back on the first floor again, but in a different area.
     Find the room with the half door, hop over it, hit the switch and go back upstairs to the grandfather clock.The switch opened the clock and yer first key is inside it.
     Go down to a huge hall on the first floor. At one end there's a door that opens into a room with a picture of a coot on it. Open the other door, and there on the desk is the second key. Now go back up the stairs from the first huge room, and go through the far door. Make a right, and open a door that slides to the side. In the corner, on the back side of the nightstand, there's a red button. Push it. Now go down to the dining room. Go through the fireplace to room with the third key.
     Now you want to head on outside to the door across from the house that looks like it came from an Indiana Jones movie. Yer gonna go into a hedge maze through that door. Ya may want to use yer map key again like you did in the sewers.You'll go down into a trench a couple of times then come back up. After the first trench, you'll pass by a statue. Go all the way down that path. You'll come out by the place with a temple with a pool inside. You need to find the switch to open it up. Then come back to the temple, go down into the pool & swim through the underwater tunnel. When you come out the other end you'll figger the rest by yerself.

     Now to try and play this level, head on over to the closest monolith and grab the goodies from the secret area, which is a small hole hidden in the shadow. Then head under the beam coming from the spaceship. If yer copy works yer gonna get beamed aboard to battle the queen vixen. She'll most likely kill you before you know what hit you. If yer game freezes up or just spits you back to Windows, well like Elmer says, "Ga-bih, Ga-bih, Ga-bih, Ga-bih, That's All Folks"